"You can't forgive without loving. And I don't mean sentimentality. I don't mean mush. I mean having enough courage to stand up and say, 'I forgive. I'm finished with it.'"
Invisible bindings, we’ve all had them and unsure many times how we’ve gotten them. But we feel them, we experience them, like the preverbal glass ceiling. Bindings that hold us back and tethered to someone else that the tighter we pull, the more those same binds choke life from ourselves. If we’d just let go, even though it seems counterintuitive to what’s right and even necessary for self-preservation, it’s not, it’s the opposite.
When we hold onto angst or unforgiveness against others deserved or not, we choke the life out of ourselves. Does that mean there shouldn’t be justice? Does that mean the truth shouldn’t come out? Does it mean you are less by forgiving? Or even powerless by forgiving? No, not at all. Forgiving is a conscious choice that opens up the supply of life to our souls.
So, if you’ve ever said, “I’ll never forgive...” You fill in the blank. If you’ve tried to forgive, but the emotions just keep coming back up. If you feel stuck or even tormented, it’s likely you need to forgive someone… and that someone may even be yourself.
We are about to embark on the month of May, the fifth month of our calendar. Five is said to be the number that represents grace (undeserved favor). It is also the last month before we transition into a new season... Perfect for this challenge. For the rest of April, spend some time making a list of people that need forgiven by you and for what (all of it). Look for devastations to offenses and there you will find your unforgiveness. If you can’t pinpoint it, here’s a full-proof way to identify the source. Do you feel tormented? When did you start feeling tormented? Ok, what happened within six months to a year before that? It’s likely you’ll find the event and the culprit there.
Once you’ve got your person/event/offenses listed, add a column to your list for yourself. Write down what you need to forgive yourself for in each situation. This is usually the point where people balk and say, “But what did I do?” You may have done nothing except agreed with what the crime against you was in some manner. Maybe what was done or said to you made you feel that you are unworthy to be loved. Maybe you agreed that you were stupid. Maybe you agreed that something was wrong with you. Maybe you were part of the problem... Just be honest... This is about your well-being, not someone else’s debt.
One more column. Title it “Vows.” Because with an offense can come unforgiveness, a belief about yourself, and sometimes a vow. For example, if you’ve ever said, “I’ll never love anyone like that again.” Then you made a vow and vows are just as binding to our souls as unforgiveness. But not a topic for this post, just a place holder for now.
Ok, so list it all... Get it out! Written down for justice to be heard all the way to the courts of Heaven. Include yourself where you’ve held yourself bound to the offense. And any vows you made in relation to the event.
Next week we will start a week by week journey in the month of May to forgive, release, and bless -- and that includes you! An amazing man once said to forgive 70 x 7 times if necessary. Maybe he said that because he knew it would take many times to feel like you’ve forgiven. This exercise is to teach us how to stay clean in our souls. Stay current in our lives. And live strong and free!
And hey, if you’d like to request our Forgiveness Template just to help, go here and today and start your journey of freedom with the rest of us at fadedRED.
We want to hear about your journey and freedom as we finish out May and start a new season in 2019 and our lives!